Daddy's Little Girl

I’ve always wanted to be daddy’s little girl.  I didn’t grow up with my dad.  For the most part, my mom raised my siblings and me alone. We never saw a man as the head of the household.  We never saw a loving relationship between a man and a woman. I was never called princess, and my dad never carried me on his neck the way I watch my son carry his daughter.  I never walked and held my dad’s hand.  I never experienced the comfort of knowing that my dad would take care of everything.  I’ve made so many mistakes when it comes to men.  I had no idea of how a man should treat a woman.  I didn’t realize that not all men were worthy of my time.  I’m not saying that all of my mistakes could have been avoided, but what I am saying is that having my dad around could have helped me with avoiding many of them. We live in an age where having a father in the home is almost obsolete.  Many of us women have “put the S on our chest”, and downed the title of “Superwoman”.  We can do it all, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, raise the children, pay the bills, work etc.  “We don’t need a man.”  Sisters, we need our men.  We need them, and so do our children.  If you don’t believe me, try to conceive a child on your own.  We were deliberately designed to complement one another (men and women).  We not only need each other to conceive a child, but we need each other to raise a child.  

Studies show that over 76% of children are being raised by single parents.  It has almost become the “norm”.  The breakdown of the familial unit has created an irreplaceable void in the lives of children.  As a single parent, especially single moms, we say that we are both mom and dad, which isn’t true.  We are just mom, and our children are being raised without a dad.  Some children are fortunate, although their dad may not be in the home, their dad he is still a part of their lives.  On the other hand, most children are not that fortunate, and they grow up missing that very important piece to the puzzle.  To quote a friend of mine, “Sure a car can travel down a road on three wheels even though it was designed to work with four.  It won’t be pretty and at some point sparks will fly, then eventually fire.  This is where we are now; on fire.”  I am in agreeance.  We are on fire.   Studies have shown that 40% of females become pregnant before the age of 20, drop out of school, and cite teen pregnancy or marriage as the reason for leaving.  70% 0f teen mothers finish high school, but they are less likely to attend college.  Nearly 80% of these mothers will eventually cite welfare as their source of income.  There is a cycle that continues as mothers become younger, uneducated, and unmarried.  If a mother is raising children on her own with no father, how likely is she to value a man being needed in the home, and thereby, how likely will the children value a man being present in the home?  

A little girl needs her dad.  She needs him to call her princess.  She needs the opportunity to “date” dad and go out to dinner and daddy daughter dances.  She needs him to hold her hand and make her feel safe.  Dads help to build their daughter’s self-esteem.  They teach their daughters how a man should treat them.  They offer a sense of security that only comes when a man is around.  Men exude security.  What woman doesn’t feel safer when a man is around?  When a man offers to walk you to your car, you feel safer.  When a man puts his arm around a woman, she feels secure.  When a man holds a woman hand. She feels loved.  When a man opens a woman door, he feels important.  That’s the affect men have on women, and that’s the affect dads have on their daughters.  Dads are a little girl’s first “boyfriend”.   If a little girl has been taught by her dad how she should be treated, she is less likely to allow herself to be mistreated.  She will be more confident, a confident woman doesn’t need a man to validate her, or tell her how wonderful she is or how beautiful she is.  She’s heard this all of her life.  She’s been called princess, she’s felt protected and safe.  She’s felt loved and important.

It’s time to remove the S from our chests, and instead become more intentional about our choices in men.  We should worry less about what a man drives and what he is wearing.  Let’s ask ourselves, “Will this guy be good father material?  Will he stick around?  Does he want to be a baby daddy or build a family?  Does he want a wife or a girlfriend?  WE have the power to CHOOSE, and if we make good choices then our children win.  Our daughter’s win.  Let’s give our daughters the opportunity to be daddy’s little girl.